I want to write

I quit my job a few months back. The pointlessness of it all had become unbearable. After a long time - actually for the first time in my life I have nothing to do, nowhere to get to, no timelines, no deadlines…nothing. I like nothing.

Today I have spent most of my day sleeping … have seen 2 movies and then I wanted to write… you know one of those days when you have to HAVE TO write and are stumped coz there’s nothing to say – but as I have already said that I like nothing I am going to write away. Lets hope it makes sense!

I was wondering how I got here (in a good way)... you know stuff you think about when you have nothing else to think about... abt destiny... whether life chooses a path or the destination. How the little choices we make make who we are... how when a butterfly flaps its wings somewhere and theres a storm someplace else(or a tornado...u know what i mean)...jab saabu ko gussa aata hai kahin jwalamukhi phatta hai (no...thats different).

I was born with a particular amount of, for the lack of a better word, intelligence – I am brighter than your average chap on the road – so I was meant to be first in class… I quite liked it too and it was rarely difficult. So after my X boards it was an obvious choice that I would take science… with Math & Bio… primarily coz I wanted to have the option of being a Doctor or an Engineer open for another 2 years (I am neither now).

While I waited for my engineering results (I did get into RECs… though not IIT – wonder what that would have been like) I enrolled in Miranda House… Economics (Economics sounded nice…had heard much about the subject) …quite liked Micro-eco… so gave up the engineering thing and stayed on in Delhi. Some one asked me what I wanted to be and I said “a Banker” (huh! Why? Cant remember!)

So a few years on I was a banker… having done an MBA… earning more than a few lakhs… living on my own in the maximum city… and then I quit.

It wasn’t what I wanted, wasn’t the life I wanted to lead, wasn’t anything at all. The most amusing was how people looked at me as if I was crazy for quitting without having another job in hand… to top it all I told them it’s because I was bored. It was fun messing with them but that lost its charm way too quickly – people & their reactions are predictable... very very predicatble.

I am back now… to the city of djinns (Delhi…for the ones who don’t read Dalrymple).

Kaun jaaye Zauq par Dilli ki galiyan chod kar J